How To Embody Fearlessness?

Fear.

I feel like I am living my life in fear an awful lot lately - if not for many, many, many years. I have fear about sharing my true self when teaching yoga. I hold back. I have fear about going into wheel pose. I fear making a fool of myself. I fear failing at anything I do. I fear having to figure out how to pay the bills. I fear not knowing what my future will look like. I fear having children. I fear that I will never have enough, even though I know I'm supposed to believe I already have everything that I could ever need. The list could go on...

I'm not exactly sure where this fear came from, though I have my suspicions. But what is most frustrating to me is that I do not know how to bring fearlessness into my life. I always thought I was a person that took risks, but am I? I thought I lived passionately, but do I? Or do I actually "live passionately" vicariously through my husband and his passions? Right now I have fear that I won't be able to figure out how to live fearlessly!!

I do know that I put up a wall between me and others. I put up a wall between me and my immediate family for many years. I even put on a mask with different groups of my friends at times. Am I scared of what my true self looks like? Am I scared of what I will find?

I don't know the answer. And I don't even really know where to begin. For now I plan to keep journaling, to maintain my meditation practice, and to keep working through it. I'm on a mission to break down my walls and embody fearlessness; and I guess the only way to get there is to start.