40 Days Week 1: Presence

I am leading our studio's 40 Days to Personal Revolution program. This past Monday was our first meeting and the beginning of the 40 Days. I will share the letters I send to the 40 Days participants here. This is not so much my writing, but my recapping of Baron Baptiste's writing in his book 40 Days to Personal Revolution, which is the guide for this program.

Hello 40 Days Revolutionaries!

Congratulations on taking the first step towards your own personal revolution and committing to this amazing program! It was wonderful to get to know each of you a little last night and I am so honored to share this journey with you! Here is a re-cap of our first meeting:

WEEK ONE: Presence (or Awakening!)

• Focus on waking up and becoming fully present in body, mind, and your life
• If at any point you realize you are disconnected, take a time out, come back and begin again
• We need to get quiet enough to see the underlying truth of our behaviors and self-defeating patterns to be set FREE!!

Law 1: Seek the Truth

• The highest form of repentance is self acceptance. Seek the truth so you can grow in a pure, more authentic way
• "The bad news is good news" ~ Baron Baptiste
• Have the courage to open up and come face to face with yourself - it hurts a little sometimes but this is what it means to have a personal revolution
• Self acceptance: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, THEN I can change" ~ Carl Rogers
• What is standing in the way of you living the life you want to live?

Law 2: Be Willing to Come Apart

• Don't make things happen; ALLOW them to happen
• There is so much in life we can't control, but we are always fighting to be in control.
• Fighting has to do with getting. When we put out a get mentality we'll be got. But when we relax, we receive.
• When we control, pressure builds up and then eventually it bursts bringing us to our knees (into crisis)
• At this crossroads is where spiritual growth is: We can shut down and get resentful, OR we can break up, break with, and break through to new ground
• This can be humbling and painful - but it's where wisdom and growth come from

Week 1 Homework:

Yoga:
4 Studio practices
2 Home practices - 20 minutes - just get on your mat
1 Day active rest - spend time with the people you love doing the things you love to do!

Meditation:
5 minutes first thing in the morning. 5 minutes at night before you go to bed. Begin the habit of just sitting.

Make sure to set yourself up for success by creating a comfortable seat. Be still and quiet. Come back to your breath, body and hands… If notice you are into your thoughts, re-aim and begin again and again :)

Make sure to set a clock or alarm so that you can immerse yourself in the meditation instead of looking at a clock to determine how much time you have left. You may also want to create a special place for your meditation: set up an alter, light a candle, fill a corner of the room with things you cherish. This place will take on a special feel and help bring you into your meditation each time you return.

Cleansing Diet:
We are what we eat! Start to become aware of what you put into your mouth. Follow what intuitively feels right to you in your diet but be willing to try things on during this program. In small chunks you can add new foods and habits to your diet. Remember we have 40 days - change doesn't have to occur overnight!

• What are your hot and cold body patterns?
• Are you deficient (need to BUILD) or excessive (need to CLEANSE)?

The goal is to reach a state of equilibrium in your body so you have the energy to support living the life you want to live!

Reading:
Intro, Week One Presence through page 100, and Laws 1 and 2

Excavation Questions:
Week One pg. 100:
Journal your answers to all five questions. You may also want to journal on why you chose to do the 40 Days program and your commitment to the program (what we discussed last night).

I am available to support you throughout this program. Your fellow awakening revolutionaries are here for you too! Attached you will find the participant contact list.

I hope the first day of your journey has been great so far!

With love,
Sara

October Community Leader Letter

I haven't been very committed to this blog over the last 6 months or so. But I've been doing lots of journaling exercises and writing for other reasons (like my Baptiste Certification and programs I've run at the studio.) My intention is to place some of that writing here on my blog to share with you.

This month I am the community leader for BV Yoga Naples. Here is my letter to the community:

I now have bobbed hair in my natural brunette color so don't look much like that any more! :)

The Bad News is the Good News

I had a review of one of my yoga classes with Debi, our Director of Teacher Development, last week. Part of the review requires me to videotape my classes, pick a class that's on the better side, then watch it with Debi. Through this process, I give myself feedback and get to see how my teaching is landing in students bodies (and hearts). Debi gives me feedback as well.
I have been teaching yoga now for just over two years. I feel I have come a LONG way from where I began, and of course, there is always room to grow.  This new career path I have chosen is one that requires me to be open to feedback and to continually assess where I can open up more, let go more, and hold back less. It's not easy, but it adds to who I am as a whole (not just as a yoga teacher) to make me a better person all around.

In the past three years I have been through a 200-Hour Teacher Training Certification Program; Baptiste Level 1, Level 2, Foundations in Action, Journey Into Power Immersion, Art of Assisting, and even assisted a Foundations in Action; a week-long Off The Mat Into The World training with Seane Corn; and my own personal therapy with an Integrative Life Guide. So I was disappointed (to say the least) when while reviewing my class with Debi, many of the same issues (that I have dealt with in each of the aforementioned programs!) were still showing up in me and my teaching. Sighhhhhhhh....

I remember Baron Baptiste saying, "the bad news is the good news." Ok, so what good can come of this knowing that my same issues are still present.

First, let me explain some of what Debi helped me realize while reviewing my video. Part of the way I live my life (thus how I teach) is from experiences in my childhood that created a false "lie." (If you have done any teacher trainings with Baron Baptiste or BV Yoga, you know exactly what this "lie" is and what YOUR own lie is!) To keep this blog short, my lie is that I am alone and not wanted. And how this lie looks in my teaching (and my life - it shows up everywhere!) is that I hold back. I only let people in a little bit, because I believe, in some unconscious level perhaps, they don't want to get to know me more, or they will eventually leave so why get too close. The funny thing about my lie is that instead of being who I am to let others in, I be who I think they want me to be so that they do want me!

Are you following? So how this showed up in my teaching on the videotaped class is me teaching through a filter. Instead of being myself and saying what comes into my head, I filter it (what will they think of me if I say this or say it this way?) and edit it (let me say it this way so it sounds better, or so I sound like the person I think they want me to be). I try to keep myself in a pretty, clean package. But, as Debi helped me realize, that keeps people out and not connecting to me. Because in truth none of us are pretty packages, no matter how hard we try to make ourselves look that way. We all have baggage, ugly sides, and past experiences that we wouldn't choose to post on Facebook about. But that makes us relatable. We don't have to air our dirty laundry; but we don't have to always get everything right and be something perfect that we are not.

Like I said, I was disappointed that this was coming up for me again. (If you follow my blog, you've probably read similar accounts in the past!) But Debi helped me realize that my lie is a part of me. It will always be there. And just like my past, I don't have to cover my lie up and act like it never happened. Instead I can embrace it. It's who I am. When I see my lie taking over, I can say, "No thank you. I've got this. Take a back seat." Awareness is powerful.

I am understanding that my lie will never go away, that I will constantly have work to do. But I can keep asking it to take the back seat, and keep challenging myself to move forward: to let others in, to allow myself to be messy, to drop my editing and filtering and just be authentically me. The bad news is the good news.

Commitments

I have found myself questioning my commitments lately. Where are my top commitments? To me? To my husband, my family, my career? My goals and dreams? My desire to live life to its fullest? My students? Chances of a lifetime?

An opportunity has come to me to potentially work and live in Singapore for a short time. But I would have to leave my current life, take a risk, and come back to something uncertain. Leaving means my yoga classes may not be here for me when I get back; my employer may question my loyalty and dedication to my job; my family asks, how can you leave your husband for that long?

Through my yoga journey I have learned to connect to a deeper wisdom inside myself. Meditation each day brings me back to this place of ease, simple-ness, and clarity. The more I have trusted this inner wisdom, my gut, or my heart – whatever you’d like to call it – the more guided I feel, and I believe that I am in the right place.

My gut is telling me that if I am offered the freelance gig in Singapore, I should take it. That I can remain true to my commitments and the important things in my life. But lately my head has been getting in the way. I am questioning myself. I feel bad about how I am inconveniencing others or will not able to be here for my husband, my dogs, my home, and my yoga students. I wonder if the people in my life question my commitment to them? I am worried about what they think.

But even as I write this blog the answers are becoming clearer to me. I know where my commitments are and I can stand for them. It doesn’t matter if other people question me as long as I am true to myself. I know that I don’t want to live a life of regrets, and I have to remain true to myself in order to live this way. I have to get out of my own head and other’s heads, and come back inside me. I need to stick with my meditation practice and be guided.

Faith. Trust. Everything happens for a reason. These have been recurring themes in the yoga classes I’ve taught lately – as well as the classes I have taken. Buddha said, “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” I need to stay in a state of trust, knowing that things are working out perfectly, as they should, and trusting in myself that I have the answers and am being guided. It’s an ongoing practice, but one with many rewards. 

What You Give You Get: Filled With Love And Gratitude!

I assisted my first Baptiste program this weekend: Foundations In Action at the brand new, beautiful BV Coral Gables. I feel like I just completed another Teacher Training Bootcamp from the experience. Right now I feel inspired, empowered, and full of love!

I had a lot of anticipation for the weekend: long hours; working alongside senior Baptiste teachers, experienced assistants, and Baron; not knowing how the weekend would play out since it was my first time assisting a program, amongst other things. But at the beginning of our training I committed to being present and cleared away anticipation.

I was totally blown away by the experience. I felt completely supported and trusted by every single member of the assisting team - all 22 of us! With that support came space for me to try things on, gain confidence, serve the program, and mostly, have fun!

I got feedback and was coachable. One of the most powerful coachings I received was in regard to how I was being in general at the program, from my assisting to my personality when greeting the participants. "You have your Tadasana; you are very grounded and composed," one of the team leaders said to me. "But I want to see you more at risk and less composed. I want to see you in more expression."

Funny, because being in more authentic self-expression is something that I have been working on since completing Level 2 with Baron last month. I took in the coaching and let go of the "pretty package" I often subconsciously try to present myself as. I allowed myself to be weird which, my wonderful roommate informed me, made me funny and fun to be around! I shared my thoughts, challenges, insights, and love for the group instead of holding back and hiding. I witnessed a shift in myself, which also shifted our group as a whole to a stronger, more positive team.

There were ups and downs throughout the program, but one of the principles I kept coming back to that Baron teaches in the methodology of Baptiste Yoga is "give up what you must." When I felt I made a mistake while assisting someone's pose, did not speak direct, or found myself concerned for looking good, I gave it up right then and there. Sometimes I was giving things up every minute!! The "giving up what I must" allowed me to come back to being present and being of service to the entire FIA program.

During the final morning's meditation I felt an ease wash over me. All of a sudden I did not feel like I was trying to meditate; instead I actually was meditating. I did not feel like I had to act a certain way, be perfect, get it right, or wear a mask. I could just be me - in all the power, greatness, and weirdness that I am, truly and authentically. That ease stayed with me for the rest of the day. It was so easy to quit trying to be something I was not.

It was funny then as all of us on the assisting team were saying our goodbyes that so many people acknowledged me for having an ease-filled, calming presence throughout the program. Someone even said that when she saw me while assisting and noticed my easeful presence that it helped calm her and that was exactly what she needed at the moment.

I made so many friends and connections this past weekend. I learned what true team means. I got to see the beauty and power that is within each person that crossed my path. I am truly humbled and grateful for the entire experience and the transformation that Baptiste Power Yoga creates in so many people's lives, including my own.

A Fire Burning In Austin!!

I just returned from Level 2 Teacher Training: The Sannyasin’s Journey with Baron Baptiste in Austin, TX. I can’t even begin to describe the many insights and breakthroughs I experienced there, so will sum it up with two words:  WOW and FUN!!

Level 2 Yogis & Baron Baptiste in full expression!

Level 2 was about exploring who I am being in my communities and who I am for others. Through inquiry, acceptance, and the support of the amazing Baptiste community, I was able to see my blind spots (beliefs or habits I have that disempower me and others).

I realize where in my life I am not being fully present with others, and how often it occurs. I notice times in my conversations when my head is filled with judgment, anticipation, or clouded by my previous experiences, instead of just being with who is speaking with me. I recognize when I give one person my full attention but disregard others.

Perhaps one of the most important blind spots I uncovered is that I was a hider. Way back in grade school my classmates made fun of me for being the teacher’s pet so I stopped raising my hand in class, even though I knew the answer or had something important to say. This hiding continued through my life as I kept covering up things I did not think people would like about me, and started responding to challenging situations with an ongoing mantra that “it doesn’t matter.” I believed that someone else would ask the question or stand up for someone and what is right. I did not want to ruffle any feathers.

I now understand how disempowering being a hider is to my communities and myself. When I fully express myself – whether that is giving honest feedback, making a difficult request, or singing my heart out in savasana – our community becomes stronger, connected, filled with vitality, and moves on to bigger and better things. Life also is so much more FUN in full authentic self-expression!!

I got a glimpse of what my life would be like if I held on to the same disempowering patterns that I uncovered at Level 2. I would be OK, but who wants to live an OK life? Not me, and I’m sure not you! Through my Level 2 participants I learned what greatness looks like, and that we all have it! A GREAT life is available for me if I choose to be seen, get real, and connect with others.

Right now I am present to the experience of vitality, possibility, contagious power and enthusiasm, and most importantly:  connection. I could not have found these things within myself if not for the full support and presence of my fellow Level 2 participants, Baron, and the Baptiste staff. I am so excited to keep sharing this bright fire we started in Austin with all of you and the rest of the world!

Tips for Dealing with Resistant And Less-Than-Eager Students

As my teaching career and interest in serving others through yoga has progressed, I've found myself teaching a different group of students. These teaching situations are unlike those at the yoga studios, clubs, and resorts I teach at where my students are eager and excited to be in class.

I've taught adults with drug and alcohol addiction where yoga is a part of the recovery program. I've taught 12 - 16 year old girls in a delinquency prevention program. I've taught football players preparing for the NFL draft. I've taught my husband - who I must admit has been dragged to class by me a couple times! Within these classes I am often met with resistance from the students: they don't want to be there, they think yoga is silly, they won't stop talking to their neighbor or show respect for me and the other students. They scowl at me and come out of the pose after trying it for one breath... It can be very frustrating to me and disruptive to the students who DO want to be there.

So how does a teacher deal? How can a teacher help each and every student find the benefits of yoga and embrace their practice. Here are a few tips that have helped me:

1. Don't take it personally. If a student is not into the practice, it does not mean you are a bad teacher. Stay out of your head and continue to teach with confidence. You don't need to get the person to like you. Instead, show a little tough love, which leads into my next tip...

2. Hold each student accountable. When you say "bend your front knee deeper" in Warrior II and the student doesn't budge, make eye contact, gesture or demonstrate the knee bend, and don't move your eye contact away from the student until he responds. If the eye contact doesn't work, walk right over to the student and guide his knee into place.

3. Speak to what is coming up. If students aren't taking the class seriously and are joking around, speak to the seriousness of taking care of their body. Speak to the choice that they made to be here. Yes, maybe Coach sent you, you signed up for this recovery program but did not know it included yoga, or even your wife dragged you here. But in all truth, you made the choice to be a part of the team, a part of the program, or to give in to your wife. So now you can embrace your choice, move forward, and be open to the possibilities your practice (the decision you made) can offer you. Or you can choose to fight it the whole way through, and never get this hour of your life back. Bring them into a Warrior II hold or Half Pigeon and speak to letting go of resistance and what is then possible in the pose - as well as in your life - once you experience that letting go.

4. Set ground rules or guidelines. If I am working with a new group, especially one that has never done yoga, I find it helps to set some ground rules at the very beginning, that should be reviewed each class. Just like kids need structure in the classroom, new yoga students need structure for their class. Here are the ground rules I often use:
   1) Everyone practices. Even if you have an injury, are tired, can't do tree pose - whatever the excuse might be - I ask all my students to practice. Yoga is accessible to anyone, and I will gladly offer modifications for injuries and circumstances. I explain that they don't need to make it "perfect" or get a pose "right." I just ask that they try. Often they will be surprised what they can do once they let their excuses be gone.
   2) Respect - for the teacher and for their fellow students. That means do not have side conversations. You can laugh, sigh, grunt, but do not be disruptive to your fellow students who are trying to enjoy themselves and get the most from their yoga experience. Respect me as a teacher by giving me your attention and following my ground rules/guidelines.
 
5. Connect - through your heart and your touch. Physical assists can start to break down the barrier between student and teacher. If your intention while assisting is to support and help, a student will feel that when you touch them. Don't go overboard or get creepy, but don't be afraid to get in their and help the student connect to her asana and her body. Also create a heart connection. Allow your students to see you for who you really are. Drop the yoga teacher script and be real. They will appreciate that and want to give you more of a real effort from themselves.

6. Keep it light. Yoga can be fun - even when working through tough poses and serious issues (like resistance). You need to step in with tough love at times, but balance that with a light-heartedness and playful approach. Remember to smile.... BIG!

I find that students with resistance start to warm to yoga the more they practice it. It's like during each session a layer is peeled away. Stay committed to your intention and you will make a difference in all your students' lives.

Gratitude, Space, And Following My Heart

One thing yoga has taught me is gratitude. When I am in a state of gratitude, I notice more magic and joy appearing in my life. Whether it's the sunshine on my face, the peaceful view from my backyard, or the look of love I get from my dog, I can't help but be thankful for these small miracles that are part of my everyday life.

Today, I am feeling overwhelmed in gratitude for where my life has brought me. What a different place I am in now than I was over a year ago. A year ago at this time I was starting the dreaded countdown to the end of the weekend in anticipation of Monday morning. I knee what my heart was calling me to do, but wasn't yet ready to dive fully in. Back then I felt like I was in the wrong place; but really, I was right where I was supposed to be, following all the steps that were already being planned for me leading me to where I am right now.

With so much gratitude for where I am right now, I look back - also with gratitude - to where I have been. I realize that each part of my path was special. Each part taught me something different. And each part lead me to right here. The key, I think, was being present enough in my life - and inside myself - to listen to the wisdom within me, to follow my heart. I have found that the more I follow my heart, the more loudly my heart speaks to me. I don't have anxiety anymore over decisions I have to make. If I am not sure in which direction to move forward, I give the question some space (meaning I let it go and stop fretting, analyzing, and thinking about it), make sure I hit my meditation cushion morning and night, and allow the answer to come to me. It always does, and I can feel in my body that I am making the right decision, following the right path. It really is as simple as that.