It's OK To Feel

It's OK to feel sad, my stepmother told me this past week. Underneath my cheery disposition was a lot of pain; and not unlike many times in my past when I was hurting, I hid beneath a fake smile and false positiveness. I told everyone that I was OK. I almost even thought that I was...

But this time her words sank into me, and I remembered them. When I felt sad, I cried. When I felt angry, I observed it. When I felt nothing - almost numbness, I sat with it. I can't say it really felt "good," but different, like I was letting it out.

So often in my life when I felt lonely or stressed, I'd reach for food and seek comfort; not really feeling the feeling, just feeling full. When I was sad, I busied my life with projects and appointments, so I couldn't feel that sadness. When I was angry, I'd create stories, and make the anger build. I had never learned to sit with my emotions and feel them.

Now, I am not talking about dwelling on my feelings, letting them define me. But giving my emotions room to be. Letting myself feel them and know they are not right or wrong, good or bad, but that this is how I am in the present moment. It helped me to put things in perspective. It also helped me to open my heart. Without covering my feelings up with something else, I was able to be honest about them, and share them with my friends. (This is something I don't often do. I try to be the pretty package perfect life girl... my goodness, that's a whole blog in itself - stay tuned!)

So often we drown our feelings in tequila, sappy movies, Ben & Jerry's, exercise, whatever it may be. But when the ice cream is gone or you sober up, the feelings are still there. It's not until we give them space to be, that they can move on, move through us, and continue guiding us on our journey.

It's OK to feel. In fact, its the only way you can be.