I had a lot of anticipation for the weekend: long hours; working alongside senior Baptiste teachers, experienced assistants, and Baron; not knowing how the weekend would play out since it was my first time assisting a program, amongst other things. But at the beginning of our training I committed to being present and cleared away anticipation.
I was totally blown away by the experience. I felt completely supported and trusted by every single member of the assisting team - all 22 of us! With that support came space for me to try things on, gain confidence, serve the program, and mostly, have fun!I got feedback and was coachable. One of the most powerful coachings I received was in regard to how I was being in general at the program, from my assisting to my personality when greeting the participants. "You have your Tadasana; you are very grounded and composed," one of the team leaders said to me. "But I want to see you more at risk and less composed. I want to see you in more expression."
Funny, because being in more authentic self-expression is something that I have been working on since completing Level 2 with Baron last month. I took in the coaching and let go of the "pretty package" I often subconsciously try to present myself as. I allowed myself to be weird which, my wonderful roommate informed me, made me funny and fun to be around! I shared my thoughts, challenges, insights, and love for the group instead of holding back and hiding. I witnessed a shift in myself, which also shifted our group as a whole to a stronger, more positive team.
There were ups and downs throughout the program, but one of the principles I kept coming back to that Baron teaches in the methodology of Baptiste Yoga is "give up what you must." When I felt I made a mistake while assisting someone's pose, did not speak direct, or found myself concerned for looking good, I gave it up right then and there. Sometimes I was giving things up every minute!! The "giving up what I must" allowed me to come back to being present and being of service to the entire FIA program.
During the final morning's meditation I felt an ease wash over me. All of a sudden I did not feel like I was trying to meditate; instead I actually was meditating. I did not feel like I had to act a certain way, be perfect, get it right, or wear a mask. I could just be me - in all the power, greatness, and weirdness that I am, truly and authentically. That ease stayed with me for the rest of the day. It was so easy to quit trying to be something I was not.
It was funny then as all of us on the assisting team were saying our goodbyes that so many people acknowledged me for having an ease-filled, calming presence throughout the program. Someone even said that when she saw me while assisting and noticed my easeful presence that it helped calm her and that was exactly what she needed at the moment.
I made so many friends and connections this past weekend. I learned what true team means. I got to see the beauty and power that is within each person that crossed my path. I am truly humbled and grateful for the entire experience and the transformation that Baptiste Power Yoga creates in so many people's lives, including my own.
