What Was Level 1 Teacher Training & Who Have You Been?

Towards the end of Journey Into Power Level 1 Teacher Training, Baron asked us to write two letters in our journal. The first letter is to someone who is not familiar with yoga to describe what the experience was about. The second letter is from myself five years in the future as I would write a letter to someone I was mentoring to tell them who I had been to get to where I was. Both are below...

#1 What Was Level One Teacher Training?

Dear You :)

Level 1 Teacher Training was about connecting to my true self. I learned about my way of being and thinking and how it limits my connection to people. I learned to look others in the eye, to drop judgement, and to see each and every person's beauty. I investigated areas of my life that seemed stuck and weren't making me happy to determine how I can change to allow for difference outcomes. I learned curiousity that will allow me to continually examine my life to see where I am holding back and being inauthentic. I danced! I found my voice! I strengthened my yoga practice, and I empowered my self!

Love, Sara

#2 Who Have You Been?

Dear Mentee, 

Over the last five years I maintained my meditation practice to stay connected to my inner self. I pursued my dreams rather than just dreaming them. I put them into action step by step. I stayed open - and said YES! - to opportunities in my life, and especially I continued to check in with myself to be sure I was truly being open and real with other people. I was a student of each person that crossed my path and each experience I had. I faced challenges, but I stayed connected to my heart and my inspiration to guide me along the path. I trusted my gut. I believed that no idea was too big or unachievable. I took baby steps and kept on going. I surrounded myself with people who supported me and kept me in check. I chose projects that excited me and I learned that there are so many ways to serve others. I asked for help and supported my team. I saw the beauty of each person that crossed my path. 

Love, 

Sara of 2016 :)

A Run Down Memory Lane

It's neat to visit places you used to live. I just went for a run in Central Park, a place I was lucky to run in often when I first moved to New York in 2004. I ran around the Great Lawn where I saw many starry night performances by the New York Philharmonic. I ran past the lawn I laid upon and read the majority of the Da Vinci Code eating sugar-free blueberry muffins one summer. I ran through the paths Natalie, Steph, and I tip toed our way through one early winter morning during the first snow of the season. I remembered who I was my first year living in New York, in a big city so different than any other place I had ever lived: I was naive, excited, intimidated, and a dreamer. I was also scared, hard, closed, and not confident in myself.

Then I pondered who I am now, seven years later. I am quite different, and I have yoga to thank for that. Through yoga I've gained a better understanding of who I really am, who Sara Mueller is. I have found my passions, something I wanted to uncover so badly in my life. I have learned humility, vulnerability, and openness. I have learned to dream, bigger than I can even imagine, and believe in the possibility of my dreams coming true in better ways than I can even create in my mind. And I have learned to love others for who they are, not for what I think they are or who I want them to be, but for the beautiful truth that is each and every person on this Earth. I have learned courage and faith. And I have connected to myself and a higher power.

Yoga is an unending journey, just as is life. You never fully arrive. There is always work to do, inquiry to have, and issues to work through. That is what keeps me growing, and proves that I am living a life of meaning. I love the Sara I was seven years ago, I love the Sara I am now, and I will love the Sara I am in seven more years. But one thing I promise to myself is to stay connected to who I truly am and to keep learning so that I can better show up in my life and make the world a happier place. We all have the ability (and the moral right) to shine light into this world. Yoga helps me shine as brightly as possible.

Our Injuries Are Our Greatest Teachers

What a pain in my neck!

Literally.

Pretty much all I can feel right now is intense pain down the left side of my neck into my shoulder. It happened during practice this morning. Let's see if there is a lesson in my situation...

Our yoga mats are a guide to how we are behaving, thinking, and feeling in life. If you have been practicing yoga for even a short period of time, you have probably experienced this phenomenon that how you are on your mat, is how you are in your life.

Class was hard for me today. My body was tight and I had very little energy - perhaps because I didn't have my normal cup of coffee in the morning since I am preparing for a caffeine-free week of Baptiste Teacher Training Bootcamp ;) I backed off a little bit by eliminating chaturanga jump backs and skipping flip dog to wheel, but I kept feeling that I had to "push through."As I tried to push through, I came more into my head and less into my body. I was having a conversation with my self through many of the poses that went like this:

"You can do it Sara. You have to always strive to be your fullest expression of the pose - ever."

"I'm not really feeling it though. I think I will back off this practice. When it comes time for wheel I will do supported bridge. When we hold a crescent lunge long, I will come down to my back knee."

"What are you doing, Sara? You are making yourself tired and weak by thinking this way. Change your thinking. Have a BIG practice!"

And on and on and on it went. Mind you, we were no where near wheel or crescent lunge when I was thinking about them.

Then we got to crow, and Angie suggested moving into headstand from the arm balance. I went right for it, because that is what I always do. And I had to do a "good, full" practice. I don't think I felt my body at all as I moved into the pose. Then all of a sudden I was standing on my head.

"Wow," I thought. "I can hardly feel my arms, but they are too tired to hold me up any way. This tripod headstand feels weird and not strong." I came down shortly thereafter. As soon as I came out of the pose I realized I had almost all the weight of my body resting on my head, and that I felt a sharp pain in my left neck. The rest is history.

So, what is going on in my life now that reflects how I was on my mat today? Our injuries are our greatest teachers so what am I supposed to be learning from this pain in my neck? Where do I behave like a zombie and always do the same things because that is what I "always do?" Where do I keep pushing through or forward with something when I know it's not right for me? Where do I let my head, my "stinkin' thinkin'" get in the way of what I am trying to accomplish? Where do I let my thinking overpower my experience so much that I am not even experiencing what I am going through?

At this moment, to be honest, I am not quite sure what the answer is. But this sharp pain in my neck will be a constant reminder to become aware of all of the above questions, and figure out what is out of whack in my life right now. When I figure it out, I will let you know!!

Baby Steps Can Even Help Overcome Your Weaknesses

I'm sure you would all agree that it's good to know our strengths and weaknesses, especially in our careers. It allows us to focus on our strengths to make them stronger and make ourselves more of an asset. And it allows us to either a) Turn our weaknesses into a strength or b) Work with others who complement our weaknesses so we have the strongest team. As I am building my yoga and writing career (which is really building the business of "Sara Mueller"), I am doing a lot of this work on my own, without a team. Of course I have the full support of Bala Vinyasa Yoga in all matters related to BV, but as I work on my own personal goals, it's often just me, myself, and I. So how can I understand my own weaknesses to make myself, and my new career, stronger?

I believe the answer lies in awareness, and there is nothing like yoga to help you become more aware. In yoga you become aware of how your body (and your mind) responds to poses, challenges, change, etc. What I notice about my mind and body in yoga, I also start to notice in my everyday life. The way we are on our mats is often the same way we are in life.

While at Off The Mat in July, I became very present to the fact that I allow myself to get easily distracted in class. It's one of my "weaknesses." When a pose gets challenging or I feel a burn in my hips, I distract myself by thinking about what I will have for dinner, planning my night, or moving to a more advanced pose like an arm balance so I don't have to sit in the discomfort of the challenge. It's allowing me to check out and in doing so, I inhibit growth in my practice.

I have noticed this in my life as well. One of my other weaknesses is that I can be a perfectionist (for real; this is not just a good answer to the infamous job interview question: What is your greatest weakness?) By being a "perfectionist" I allow myself to be distracted by little things rather than dealing with the big issue. For example, I have wanted to create my own web site for my yoga teaching and writing for a long time. When I left my full-time corporate job, I thought, "Great, now I can get my site done!" Two months later I hadn't even started. In my perfectionist, distracted brain, I saw the project of building my web site, and it seemed BIG. I would have to pick a domain name, research which web building site is the best, have graphics or my logo made, know all the services I wanted to provide, have client testimonials, make business cards, etc. etc. etc. Because the project felt so overwhelming, and I wanted it to be perfect, I never really started it. I kept waiting for that perfect time.

I was talking to my husband Sunday night about feeling a bit discouraged that I felt I hadn't come very far in two months of my new "job." And somehow through our discussion I remembered what we talked about in Off The Mat about baby steps: Envision your goal, your dream, then work backwards a million baby steps and start with number one. Then go to number two, then three... and so on.

So right then and there I embraced the present moment and started with number one. I researched web site publishing sites, and instead of spending an entire day reading each of the hundreds of web site creators around, I chose three that were recommended by friends, did enough research to be able to trust my gut, and made a decision on which one to use. I told myself this is my very first web site, it doesn't need to be perfect, but I DO need to start somewhere. Then I bought a domain name, just like that, from an idea that has been formulated in my head for some time now. (I bought www.saramuellernow.com in case you are curious.) And I started to put my web site together. I didn't move from my computer for five hours and felt sooooo good during the work. So motivated and inspired to finally be moving forward! The site is by no means great or even close to being done, but it's a start. I found my first baby step, and I will keep on walking.

This was a good lesson for me. It highlighted a weakness of mine, and through awareness, I can continue to check in with my work and see where my weakness might be holding me back. Better yet, I can enlist the support of a friend or colleague to call me out when I think too big picture and hold back on taking the first small steps.

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." - Mother Teresa