It's very hard for me to have faith, to trust in the Universe that everything will work itself out. Faith that I am on the right path. And faith to just let go of the needing to know what the future will look like, how I should get something done, what specific steps I should be taking. It's hard for me to let go of that power to need to know all the answers right now.
Oh I try, I try really hard. Sometimes it works, sometimes... not so much. But its a lot more comforting to believe that I am right where I am supposed to be at this exact moment in my life, at this exact minute in my day.
However, I struggle with the idea of trusting that this is where I am supposed to be vs. striving to be a better person, to learn, to grow. By believing that where I am at in my life is right, does that keep me complacent? Does that hold me back from following my dreams or living a life of passion? Does it make someone stay in bad relationship, unfulfilling job, or a deep bout of depression?
I don't know the answer. But I feel like when I live each moment as it is - the ONLY important moment now, the only time that matters, I give myself space to be where I am at. And it is with that space that I gain clarity on my life, I gain clarity on my self, and gain clarity on where I should be going.
I'm a generation X-er, so I want things NOW - everything at my fingertips the second I need it. But that's not how life is. Life is a journey. It is through the journey that we gain the strength we need, we build our confidence, and we embrace the opportunities that the Universe presents to us each day.
Happy journeying, and remember to have faith.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Follow Your Heart
A person I care deeply about told me recently that he was choosing to follow his head, instead of following his heart. He told me that his heart and his head were each telling him to do something differently. Part of my heart broke when I heard this news, but boy, could I relate with him.
We grow up with our parents telling us to think things through before we act and with our teachers telling us to prove how we came to a conclusion. We are taught in school that the answer can always be found in a book or that we should do group projects to see if - as a group - we can come to a better solution. But nowhere, really, are we told to listen to our heart.
When I am trying to make a major decision, I talk to my husband about it; I ask my friends what they think; I feel my family out for insight. I research trends and make lists and think through all possible scenarios. I devour books like the answer will spill onto the page right in front of me. But do I ever go inside and listen to my heart? Do I ever really hear what my heart is telling me? And when I am quiet enough to feel and sit with my feelings letting my heart speak to me, how do I respond? Do I actually listen?
No. Instead, I tell myself I am dreamer. That no one truly lives a life of passion. That what speaks from my heart cannot exist in the current reality in which I live. I go back to my head, back to outside sources, and let fear of the unknown win the battle and clamp down on my heart's voice, trying to forever lock it closed.
I would love to tell this person to follow his heart. That life is about love. That life is too short to not choose your heart. That dreams can come true. That what people think doesn't matter. That somehow things will turn out OK. But I can relate so clearly to the act of following my head instead of following my heart, that I feel like a phony to share this with him.
But then I look back at my life. I remember the times that I HAVE let me heart speak and have actually listened to it. I sat with my feelings and experienced them, and thus, the answers I needed appeared. I feel the peace these decisions have brought me. I feel the love these decisions have allowed me to share with the world. I know the better place I am at for following my heart. I guess I need to gather the courage to follow my heart again and share with this person from a place of love.
We grow up with our parents telling us to think things through before we act and with our teachers telling us to prove how we came to a conclusion. We are taught in school that the answer can always be found in a book or that we should do group projects to see if - as a group - we can come to a better solution. But nowhere, really, are we told to listen to our heart.
When I am trying to make a major decision, I talk to my husband about it; I ask my friends what they think; I feel my family out for insight. I research trends and make lists and think through all possible scenarios. I devour books like the answer will spill onto the page right in front of me. But do I ever go inside and listen to my heart? Do I ever really hear what my heart is telling me? And when I am quiet enough to feel and sit with my feelings letting my heart speak to me, how do I respond? Do I actually listen?
No. Instead, I tell myself I am dreamer. That no one truly lives a life of passion. That what speaks from my heart cannot exist in the current reality in which I live. I go back to my head, back to outside sources, and let fear of the unknown win the battle and clamp down on my heart's voice, trying to forever lock it closed.
I would love to tell this person to follow his heart. That life is about love. That life is too short to not choose your heart. That dreams can come true. That what people think doesn't matter. That somehow things will turn out OK. But I can relate so clearly to the act of following my head instead of following my heart, that I feel like a phony to share this with him.
But then I look back at my life. I remember the times that I HAVE let me heart speak and have actually listened to it. I sat with my feelings and experienced them, and thus, the answers I needed appeared. I feel the peace these decisions have brought me. I feel the love these decisions have allowed me to share with the world. I know the better place I am at for following my heart. I guess I need to gather the courage to follow my heart again and share with this person from a place of love.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Certified To Save
I obtained my CPR certification last night. It has been over 14 years since I last practiced on an "Annie" doll, so I gratefully welcomed the refresher course. It is very empowering to learn how to save someone's life. I encourage everyone to get certified.
But it made me realize that accidents happen, that life can be short - oftentimes too short. This week I also learned that a childhood friend's father lost his battle to cancer ten years ago. She and I had lost contact when I moved to Minnesota so long ago, but we recently reconnected on Facebook. I have lots of memories of her father, so it is strange to me to think that he is no longer around, and actually hasn't been for a long time.
I don't mean for this post to be dark or depressing, but I do hope you take a look at how you are living your life and remember those people that ARE in your life now, just as this week has opened my eyes up to. I am blessed that my father is still here; when was the last time I called him and told him how much he means to me? Tomorrow an accident could happen to me; is this how I want to live and who I want to be if it were my last day on this earth?
I often get up each morning and go through the motions: coffee, work, yoga, dinner, read, bedtime, wake up, repeat. But where can I add more passion, and more living, into these actions I do each day? Where can I share more love and joy to the people I come in contact with, from my co-workers to the grocery store clerk? I am now certified to save others, but what am I doing to save MY life right now?
I will remember constant gratitude for the countless wonderful people and things in my life. I will choose to give importance to that which really matters in the current moment. I will live each day of my life as the beautiful gift that it is.
"Begin each day as if it were on purpose." - Mary Ann Radmacher
But it made me realize that accidents happen, that life can be short - oftentimes too short. This week I also learned that a childhood friend's father lost his battle to cancer ten years ago. She and I had lost contact when I moved to Minnesota so long ago, but we recently reconnected on Facebook. I have lots of memories of her father, so it is strange to me to think that he is no longer around, and actually hasn't been for a long time.
I don't mean for this post to be dark or depressing, but I do hope you take a look at how you are living your life and remember those people that ARE in your life now, just as this week has opened my eyes up to. I am blessed that my father is still here; when was the last time I called him and told him how much he means to me? Tomorrow an accident could happen to me; is this how I want to live and who I want to be if it were my last day on this earth?
I often get up each morning and go through the motions: coffee, work, yoga, dinner, read, bedtime, wake up, repeat. But where can I add more passion, and more living, into these actions I do each day? Where can I share more love and joy to the people I come in contact with, from my co-workers to the grocery store clerk? I am now certified to save others, but what am I doing to save MY life right now?
I will remember constant gratitude for the countless wonderful people and things in my life. I will choose to give importance to that which really matters in the current moment. I will live each day of my life as the beautiful gift that it is.
"Begin each day as if it were on purpose." - Mary Ann Radmacher
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