We Never Know Where This Journey Will Take Us!

It's funny how things in life turn out. Through my practice I have learned that every day is different - every day my body feels tighter or looser, stronger or weak, I have lots of energy or just a little. But I get on my mat, flow, breathe and move with whatever is, making adjustments to make things right for me at that moment.

The same happens in my life, and as I adjusted to my reality, I find myself with another career change - back to my old job! I never would have imagined that my path would lead me here, but I have learned that I have to go with the flow, and create my life to be in line with what is important to me (and that what is important to me may change week to week, year to year!).

The journey of my last two years has been amazing and I am so grateful for the experience. I would do it again if I had the opportunity to live my life over. I took a big risk and quit my corporate job so I could focus on teaching yoga, a passion that was at the center of my heart and loudly calling my name at the time. With that time I was able to take many yoga trainings and teach many different types of yoga classes - definitely challenging myself and forcing me to learn A LOT quickly.

I worked my butt off for the first season teaching over 20 classes a week all over Naples. It was exciting to meet and impact so many different people who were looking to get in shape, de-stress, or calm down. But it was hard for me to be inspiring and truly show up 100% for so many classes. I got burnt out quickly.

And, because the universe always has a plan, a part-time job was offered to me at BV Yoga, the studio I love, practice, and teach at. So I accepted and did marketing and promotional work part time while teaching part time. It was fun to use that part of my brain again and have such a cool balance and variety of daily activities. BV is up to big things and my responsibilities and working time grew... enough to warrant working at BV full time (which also made more sense financially, plus I got some vacation days -- those little things I never realized were so important when I was working in the corporate world!).

My role at BV grew. I managed both Naples' and Miami's marketing and all our events, including BV's first ever Teacher Training Retreat in Tulum, Mexico. It was an amazing experience and I got to know BV's owner Kiersten and all the other incredible staff and teachers better. I was working 40 hours a week, teaching 7 times a week  and working loooooong weeks, but for the most part enjoying it.

Then I had a shift, I realized that I was working really hard and long hours, and while I was enjoying what I did and who I was working with, I couldn't make ends meet financially. Plus I realized that what was important to me was being able to get on a plane to see my family and friends whenever I wanted, to travel and see the world (I'm thinking Paris and Amsterdam next!) and to be able to live without worry about how I can pay for something if my car breaks down. Unfortunately a small business like a yoga studio couldn't offer me what I needed to live the life that was important to me.

I journaled long and hard on what I enjoyed doing for work, what skills I have, and what makes me feel challenged. This process brought me to the "aha!" moment that what I enjoyed and was really good at was my old corporate job! I needed to step away from it for awhile, and of course follow my heart, to realize that it was something I wanted. I think at first I had, in a way, felt the "victim" of my job, like since I had moved to Naples there really wasn't a lot of job opportunities, so I had to stay with the one I had. But now I can say that I truly CHOOSE my job because I love it and want it, and that's a great feeling to have. I approached my old employer, and shortly I was back working for them again and excited for the new, but familiar, opportunity.

I also realized that the two years I immersed myself in teaching yoga and working in Naples allowed me to strengthen friendships, meet new people, and gain a sense of community within Naples. I finally (after 6 years!!!) felt like Naples was home. Now, even though I am working from home, I don't feel isolated and like the only thing I have is my job and yoga. Right now I have a good balance.

I cut down on the classes I teach so that I have time for my own practice and running and working out, but I still teach 3 - 4 times a week with my class at BV and the private couple I work with in their home. It's a great balance, and it's fun. I never would have imagined I'd be here two years ago, but here I am... going with the flow, responding to what's real and present in my, and following my heart. Cheers to you doing the same.

Be at Cause and In Action!

This is the message I posted to BV Yoga's Make 2013 Your Best Year EVER Facebook campaign:
 
Week 3: Be At Cause and In Action! … by Sara Mueller

WHOA!! We are almost 2 months through 2013, a year we all committed to making our best year ever. Although I declared my intention when joining this group, I realize there are two areas of my intention that I haven’t yet done anything to turn into reality: 1) making space for my own writing, and 2) my meditation practice.

This is a common occurrence in my life. I get caught up in the busyness of every day and all of a sudden days, weeks, months have passed and I have missed what is important to me. I find myself living as a result of my life rather than being at cause to make it the best ever.

So I choose to be “at cause” for my life and my yoga practice, and to take action!

***JOURNAL and SHARE (You can post in the comment section right underneath!):***

1) Where are you being at cause in your life and where are you living at effect?
2) What is holding you back from being in action and in creation of your best year ever? Now, give it up!

For me I need to give priority to my meditation practice and my writing. When my alarm goes off in the morning I will get up and meditate instead of sleeping an extra ten minutes. I give up the story that I need those extra ten minutes of sleep!! I commit to creative writing in my blog or journal for 30 minutes a week. I give up wasting time on Facebook/the Internet and the belief that to write I need a 3-hour chunk of time to do so.

***IN YOUR YOGA PRACTICE THIS WEEK:***

1) What is a pose that you have always wanted to do? This week, take one step each day towards learning that pose. You don’t have to learn the full pose this week – or even this year!! – but at least begin the steps that will take you where you want to go!

For me the pose is handstand. I will watch one YouTube video on how to build the foundation for handstand. And each day I will do 3 handstand hops in class or against a wall to make my body more familiar to this pose.

Go now, be at cause and in action!
xo
Sara Mueller

My Baptiste Certification Essay: Why I Teach Baptiste Yoga

A 3-5 page essay on Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga philosophy and why you have chosen to teach this style.

By Sara Mueller, November 2012

I found Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga when I moved to Naples, Florida, from New York City. I had told my husband that I would be ok with the move as long as I found a yoga studio that I liked. Little did I know that the yoga studio I found, Bala Vinyasa Yoga, a Baptiste Affiliate, would change my life completely.

I was first drawn to Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga because of the physical challenging workout. I loved that it kicked my butt, made me sweat like a pig, and complemented my running. After each class I felt great and that I had gotten a total body workout. But I also got so much more out of the practice than just the physical aspect.

I credit Baptiste yoga to keeping me sane. The first few years that I was practicing it I had a very stressful, demanding career. No matter how bad my day was, I could come to class, do something cool/fun/challenging/simple (whatever I needed that day), and always feel good at the end of class. When I say “feel good” I mean that I felt capable, worthy, and strong. It gave me strength to keep facing my job and life with confidence in my abilities and myself. I loved when I saw my practice improve, held that first crow pose, and started to understand the flow.

Through the practice of Baptiste yoga I started to develop a spiritual side of me as well. I was raised Catholic and pretty much forced to get confirmed Catholic, even though that religion didn’t make sense to me. As I became an adult I disregarded all thoughts of God and a higher power and went on living my life. But through Baptiste yoga, the messages my great teachers shared in class, even the “God is Real” song by Krishna Das that was sometimes played in savasana, I started to feel something come alive inside of me and started to feel a connection to God. The world started making sense.

Baptiste yoga taught me to live passionately. It made me realize that my life is gift, that each day is a gift, and that I should spend my precious days on this earth doing things I loved and following my heart. I started writing and reading more, things I loved as a child but did not devote a lot of time to in my adulthood. I started baking and crafting. I started telling my friends and family how much I loved them and what they mean to me.

The more I practiced Baptiste Yoga the more I loved it. I told my close friends that it was a dream of mine to become a yoga teacher, but never really thought it would happen. I really loved Bala Vinyasa Yoga studio and kept checking their web site to see if they would offer a teacher training. Finally, they did and I signed up!

The Bala Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training was taught with Baptiste Methodology. It was the most impactful experience of my life. It was also the most challenging and downright frightening experience of my life. I went into the Teacher Training not saying a word in the group sessions. Halfway through I shared to the entire group and talked so fast it was like someone had a gun to my head. Funny, because for my conference director job I got up in front of hundreds of Head Traders and CEOs of major capital markets firms and spoke calmly and clearly telling them what to do at the events I ran; but when it came to talking about matters of the heart and my personal life, I could barely get a sentence out – and if I did it was 90 miles an hour! I was coached into sharing more effectively and it has become one of my greatest strengths as a yoga teacher.

Through this teacher training I evaluated all the relationships in my life and found that I had some major repairing to do. I needed to drop my need to be right and take responsibility for how I was contributing to the quality of the relationship. I had a conversation with both of my brothers, my dad, and my mom on things that had needed to be addressed for years and on my commitment to our relationship moving forward. Because of these conversations and a shift in my perspective about the relationships, I now actually HAVE a relationship (a great one, actually!) with my brothers and a much more open, honest, and loving relationship with my parents.

During the 6-month Bala Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training, I also did the 40 Days to Personal Revolution program. The biggest tool I took away from that program was a meditation practice. I had been trying to meditate for many years, but it never stuck. With the consistent daily practice required of the program and the slow build up from 5 to 30 minutes of meditating both day and night, meditation became a habit of mine. My practice to this day sometimes goes in and out, but generally I sit for about ten minutes each morning and night before bed.  The days I meditate, challenges are simpler to work through, the clouds look whiter and the sky bluer, and I have a calm contentment within me at all times. My meditation connects me to my inner self, my intuition. I make decisions easier and follow my heart.

After the BV Yoga Teacher Training I started teaching yoga!! It was (and still sometimes is) the hardest, but most rewarding thing I did. I knew I was hooked and wanted to get my Baptiste Certification because I wanted to share with as many people as possible the practice that was changing my life in so many positive ways. In one year I went to Foundations in Action, Level 1, Level 2, and Art of Assisting. I even assisted a Foundations in Action at BV Yoga’s brand new Miami studio! Each of these programs shed more light on who I am (and who I am not), where I am not showing up fully in my life, and how I can be in more authentic FUN self-expression.

And because I found the BV Yoga 200-Hour Teacher Training the most impactful program of my life, I knew that I wanted to be a part of it in the future. I want to facilitate or lead teacher trainings like it. When I approached BV about this, the director and owner told me that to move into a place to be part of the Teacher Training teaching team, I had to get Baptiste Certified. It was just another reason to make this commitment!

I have chosen to teach Baptiste yoga because the methodology makes sense to me. I embrace the themes of Baptiste methodology in my teaching, practice, and life. Number 1: “Be a YES,” is how I have lived most of my life. I say yes to new experiences and challenges, and accept the gifts from the universe that come my way. It also makes me realize when and where I am being a “no” person. When I first moved to Naples I was a “no.” I did not put myself out there to meet people and make friends. I became a workaholic so I had work as an excuse to stay the way I was. When I tapped into Baptiste yoga I realized I was being this way. Even my facial expression and lack of eye contact with others in public was like I had a big, fat NO tattooed across my face. I started saying “yes” more in my yoga practice (to flip dog-to-wheel, tripod headstand, bigger backbends/heart openers), and thus starting being a “yes” more in my life. I did not let my excuses lead me; instead, I let my heart lead me to do things I loved, make friends, and be a more open person.

Number 2: “You are ready now” has also had a huge impact in my life. When I saw that BV was finally offering a teacher training, I knew I was ready now. When it came time to practice teach (like an audition) to be a teacher at BV, I didn’t wait until my teaching was perfect. Instead I did the practice teach right when the opportunity arose, and found myself teaching right after that! But most importantly, perhaps, is that I know I am ready now to be happy. Happiness doesn’t come once the weekend arrives, once vacation is here, once my house if fixed up, or once all the bills are paid. Happiness can be found in each and every moment – even in the midst of crises, stress, and pain. I believe we all deserve to live peaceful, fulfilled lives. We don’t have to wait until the time is right – because the time is always right to be happy and live fully, it’s right NOW.

Number 3: “Give up what you must…” Whoa. This is a big one for me. I find myself living this theme each and every day in all aspects of my life. When I get into my head while teaching and start thinking “I am not good enough,” or “I am not wanted,” I recognize it, drop it, and move on. When I make a mistake at work, I own it, learn from it, and move on (instead of dwelling on it and letting it keep me down). When I find myself acting childish with my husband or in other relationships, I acknowledge it, then drop it. Through yoga I have gained a sense of awareness, and by living this methodology I can continue to drop things that arise that do not serve me any more.

Another major reason I teach Baptiste Yoga is because of people and connection. I don’t find connection in a lot of other yoga classes I take that aren’t Baptiste. Through Baptiste yoga programs, trainings, and workshops I have gotten to know so many amazing people. I have seen these people become clearer and brighter and it inspires me. I am so grateful to lead programs like 40 Days to Personal Revolution and apprentice BV Yoga’s 200-Hour Teacher Training. I truly see the beauty in each and every person that I get to know a little bit – without these programs I would probably never get deeper than a surface-level talk-about-the-weather conversation with them. Even teaching my regular classes week upon week I get to see my students improve, try things on, drop baggage, and open up. It reminds me why I love yoga and why I love to teach it.

Through connection with others we build community. Community was something that was always lacking in my life. My family moved around a lot when I was in grade school. After graduating from high school I lived in 5 different cities before settling down in Naples. Finally, through yoga, the BV Yoga community and the Baptiste Yoga community, I feel community all around me – even when I travel to another city and visit the closest Baptiste Affiliate studio. It is amazing how we are all connected in so many ways. And through this connection we can build each other up, step into our greatness, and experience miracles on our planet.

40 Days Week 1: Presence

I am leading our studio's 40 Days to Personal Revolution program. This past Monday was our first meeting and the beginning of the 40 Days. I will share the letters I send to the 40 Days participants here. This is not so much my writing, but my recapping of Baron Baptiste's writing in his book 40 Days to Personal Revolution, which is the guide for this program.

Hello 40 Days Revolutionaries!

Congratulations on taking the first step towards your own personal revolution and committing to this amazing program! It was wonderful to get to know each of you a little last night and I am so honored to share this journey with you! Here is a re-cap of our first meeting:

WEEK ONE: Presence (or Awakening!)

• Focus on waking up and becoming fully present in body, mind, and your life
• If at any point you realize you are disconnected, take a time out, come back and begin again
• We need to get quiet enough to see the underlying truth of our behaviors and self-defeating patterns to be set FREE!!

Law 1: Seek the Truth

• The highest form of repentance is self acceptance. Seek the truth so you can grow in a pure, more authentic way
• "The bad news is good news" ~ Baron Baptiste
• Have the courage to open up and come face to face with yourself - it hurts a little sometimes but this is what it means to have a personal revolution
• Self acceptance: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, THEN I can change" ~ Carl Rogers
• What is standing in the way of you living the life you want to live?

Law 2: Be Willing to Come Apart

• Don't make things happen; ALLOW them to happen
• There is so much in life we can't control, but we are always fighting to be in control.
• Fighting has to do with getting. When we put out a get mentality we'll be got. But when we relax, we receive.
• When we control, pressure builds up and then eventually it bursts bringing us to our knees (into crisis)
• At this crossroads is where spiritual growth is: We can shut down and get resentful, OR we can break up, break with, and break through to new ground
• This can be humbling and painful - but it's where wisdom and growth come from

Week 1 Homework:

Yoga:
4 Studio practices
2 Home practices - 20 minutes - just get on your mat
1 Day active rest - spend time with the people you love doing the things you love to do!

Meditation:
5 minutes first thing in the morning. 5 minutes at night before you go to bed. Begin the habit of just sitting.

Make sure to set yourself up for success by creating a comfortable seat. Be still and quiet. Come back to your breath, body and hands… If notice you are into your thoughts, re-aim and begin again and again :)

Make sure to set a clock or alarm so that you can immerse yourself in the meditation instead of looking at a clock to determine how much time you have left. You may also want to create a special place for your meditation: set up an alter, light a candle, fill a corner of the room with things you cherish. This place will take on a special feel and help bring you into your meditation each time you return.

Cleansing Diet:
We are what we eat! Start to become aware of what you put into your mouth. Follow what intuitively feels right to you in your diet but be willing to try things on during this program. In small chunks you can add new foods and habits to your diet. Remember we have 40 days - change doesn't have to occur overnight!

• What are your hot and cold body patterns?
• Are you deficient (need to BUILD) or excessive (need to CLEANSE)?

The goal is to reach a state of equilibrium in your body so you have the energy to support living the life you want to live!

Reading:
Intro, Week One Presence through page 100, and Laws 1 and 2

Excavation Questions:
Week One pg. 100:
Journal your answers to all five questions. You may also want to journal on why you chose to do the 40 Days program and your commitment to the program (what we discussed last night).

I am available to support you throughout this program. Your fellow awakening revolutionaries are here for you too! Attached you will find the participant contact list.

I hope the first day of your journey has been great so far!

With love,
Sara

October Community Leader Letter

I haven't been very committed to this blog over the last 6 months or so. But I've been doing lots of journaling exercises and writing for other reasons (like my Baptiste Certification and programs I've run at the studio.) My intention is to place some of that writing here on my blog to share with you.

This month I am the community leader for BV Yoga Naples. Here is my letter to the community:

I now have bobbed hair in my natural brunette color so don't look much like that any more! :)

The Bad News is the Good News

I had a review of one of my yoga classes with Debi, our Director of Teacher Development, last week. Part of the review requires me to videotape my classes, pick a class that's on the better side, then watch it with Debi. Through this process, I give myself feedback and get to see how my teaching is landing in students bodies (and hearts). Debi gives me feedback as well.
I have been teaching yoga now for just over two years. I feel I have come a LONG way from where I began, and of course, there is always room to grow.  This new career path I have chosen is one that requires me to be open to feedback and to continually assess where I can open up more, let go more, and hold back less. It's not easy, but it adds to who I am as a whole (not just as a yoga teacher) to make me a better person all around.

In the past three years I have been through a 200-Hour Teacher Training Certification Program; Baptiste Level 1, Level 2, Foundations in Action, Journey Into Power Immersion, Art of Assisting, and even assisted a Foundations in Action; a week-long Off The Mat Into The World training with Seane Corn; and my own personal therapy with an Integrative Life Guide. So I was disappointed (to say the least) when while reviewing my class with Debi, many of the same issues (that I have dealt with in each of the aforementioned programs!) were still showing up in me and my teaching. Sighhhhhhhh....

I remember Baron Baptiste saying, "the bad news is the good news." Ok, so what good can come of this knowing that my same issues are still present.

First, let me explain some of what Debi helped me realize while reviewing my video. Part of the way I live my life (thus how I teach) is from experiences in my childhood that created a false "lie." (If you have done any teacher trainings with Baron Baptiste or BV Yoga, you know exactly what this "lie" is and what YOUR own lie is!) To keep this blog short, my lie is that I am alone and not wanted. And how this lie looks in my teaching (and my life - it shows up everywhere!) is that I hold back. I only let people in a little bit, because I believe, in some unconscious level perhaps, they don't want to get to know me more, or they will eventually leave so why get too close. The funny thing about my lie is that instead of being who I am to let others in, I be who I think they want me to be so that they do want me!

Are you following? So how this showed up in my teaching on the videotaped class is me teaching through a filter. Instead of being myself and saying what comes into my head, I filter it (what will they think of me if I say this or say it this way?) and edit it (let me say it this way so it sounds better, or so I sound like the person I think they want me to be). I try to keep myself in a pretty, clean package. But, as Debi helped me realize, that keeps people out and not connecting to me. Because in truth none of us are pretty packages, no matter how hard we try to make ourselves look that way. We all have baggage, ugly sides, and past experiences that we wouldn't choose to post on Facebook about. But that makes us relatable. We don't have to air our dirty laundry; but we don't have to always get everything right and be something perfect that we are not.

Like I said, I was disappointed that this was coming up for me again. (If you follow my blog, you've probably read similar accounts in the past!) But Debi helped me realize that my lie is a part of me. It will always be there. And just like my past, I don't have to cover my lie up and act like it never happened. Instead I can embrace it. It's who I am. When I see my lie taking over, I can say, "No thank you. I've got this. Take a back seat." Awareness is powerful.

I am understanding that my lie will never go away, that I will constantly have work to do. But I can keep asking it to take the back seat, and keep challenging myself to move forward: to let others in, to allow myself to be messy, to drop my editing and filtering and just be authentically me. The bad news is the good news.

Commitments

I have found myself questioning my commitments lately. Where are my top commitments? To me? To my husband, my family, my career? My goals and dreams? My desire to live life to its fullest? My students? Chances of a lifetime?

An opportunity has come to me to potentially work and live in Singapore for a short time. But I would have to leave my current life, take a risk, and come back to something uncertain. Leaving means my yoga classes may not be here for me when I get back; my employer may question my loyalty and dedication to my job; my family asks, how can you leave your husband for that long?

Through my yoga journey I have learned to connect to a deeper wisdom inside myself. Meditation each day brings me back to this place of ease, simple-ness, and clarity. The more I have trusted this inner wisdom, my gut, or my heart – whatever you’d like to call it – the more guided I feel, and I believe that I am in the right place.

My gut is telling me that if I am offered the freelance gig in Singapore, I should take it. That I can remain true to my commitments and the important things in my life. But lately my head has been getting in the way. I am questioning myself. I feel bad about how I am inconveniencing others or will not able to be here for my husband, my dogs, my home, and my yoga students. I wonder if the people in my life question my commitment to them? I am worried about what they think.

But even as I write this blog the answers are becoming clearer to me. I know where my commitments are and I can stand for them. It doesn’t matter if other people question me as long as I am true to myself. I know that I don’t want to live a life of regrets, and I have to remain true to myself in order to live this way. I have to get out of my own head and other’s heads, and come back inside me. I need to stick with my meditation practice and be guided.

Faith. Trust. Everything happens for a reason. These have been recurring themes in the yoga classes I’ve taught lately – as well as the classes I have taken. Buddha said, “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” I need to stay in a state of trust, knowing that things are working out perfectly, as they should, and trusting in myself that I have the answers and am being guided. It’s an ongoing practice, but one with many rewards.