Commitments

I have found myself questioning my commitments lately. Where are my top commitments? To me? To my husband, my family, my career? My goals and dreams? My desire to live life to its fullest? My students? Chances of a lifetime?

An opportunity has come to me to potentially work and live in Singapore for a short time. But I would have to leave my current life, take a risk, and come back to something uncertain. Leaving means my yoga classes may not be here for me when I get back; my employer may question my loyalty and dedication to my job; my family asks, how can you leave your husband for that long?

Through my yoga journey I have learned to connect to a deeper wisdom inside myself. Meditation each day brings me back to this place of ease, simple-ness, and clarity. The more I have trusted this inner wisdom, my gut, or my heart – whatever you’d like to call it – the more guided I feel, and I believe that I am in the right place.

My gut is telling me that if I am offered the freelance gig in Singapore, I should take it. That I can remain true to my commitments and the important things in my life. But lately my head has been getting in the way. I am questioning myself. I feel bad about how I am inconveniencing others or will not able to be here for my husband, my dogs, my home, and my yoga students. I wonder if the people in my life question my commitment to them? I am worried about what they think.

But even as I write this blog the answers are becoming clearer to me. I know where my commitments are and I can stand for them. It doesn’t matter if other people question me as long as I am true to myself. I know that I don’t want to live a life of regrets, and I have to remain true to myself in order to live this way. I have to get out of my own head and other’s heads, and come back inside me. I need to stick with my meditation practice and be guided.

Faith. Trust. Everything happens for a reason. These have been recurring themes in the yoga classes I’ve taught lately – as well as the classes I have taken. Buddha said, “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” I need to stay in a state of trust, knowing that things are working out perfectly, as they should, and trusting in myself that I have the answers and am being guided. It’s an ongoing practice, but one with many rewards. 

What You Give You Get: Filled With Love And Gratitude!

I assisted my first Baptiste program this weekend: Foundations In Action at the brand new, beautiful BV Coral Gables. I feel like I just completed another Teacher Training Bootcamp from the experience. Right now I feel inspired, empowered, and full of love!

I had a lot of anticipation for the weekend: long hours; working alongside senior Baptiste teachers, experienced assistants, and Baron; not knowing how the weekend would play out since it was my first time assisting a program, amongst other things. But at the beginning of our training I committed to being present and cleared away anticipation.

I was totally blown away by the experience. I felt completely supported and trusted by every single member of the assisting team - all 22 of us! With that support came space for me to try things on, gain confidence, serve the program, and mostly, have fun!

I got feedback and was coachable. One of the most powerful coachings I received was in regard to how I was being in general at the program, from my assisting to my personality when greeting the participants. "You have your Tadasana; you are very grounded and composed," one of the team leaders said to me. "But I want to see you more at risk and less composed. I want to see you in more expression."

Funny, because being in more authentic self-expression is something that I have been working on since completing Level 2 with Baron last month. I took in the coaching and let go of the "pretty package" I often subconsciously try to present myself as. I allowed myself to be weird which, my wonderful roommate informed me, made me funny and fun to be around! I shared my thoughts, challenges, insights, and love for the group instead of holding back and hiding. I witnessed a shift in myself, which also shifted our group as a whole to a stronger, more positive team.

There were ups and downs throughout the program, but one of the principles I kept coming back to that Baron teaches in the methodology of Baptiste Yoga is "give up what you must." When I felt I made a mistake while assisting someone's pose, did not speak direct, or found myself concerned for looking good, I gave it up right then and there. Sometimes I was giving things up every minute!! The "giving up what I must" allowed me to come back to being present and being of service to the entire FIA program.

During the final morning's meditation I felt an ease wash over me. All of a sudden I did not feel like I was trying to meditate; instead I actually was meditating. I did not feel like I had to act a certain way, be perfect, get it right, or wear a mask. I could just be me - in all the power, greatness, and weirdness that I am, truly and authentically. That ease stayed with me for the rest of the day. It was so easy to quit trying to be something I was not.

It was funny then as all of us on the assisting team were saying our goodbyes that so many people acknowledged me for having an ease-filled, calming presence throughout the program. Someone even said that when she saw me while assisting and noticed my easeful presence that it helped calm her and that was exactly what she needed at the moment.

I made so many friends and connections this past weekend. I learned what true team means. I got to see the beauty and power that is within each person that crossed my path. I am truly humbled and grateful for the entire experience and the transformation that Baptiste Power Yoga creates in so many people's lives, including my own.

A Fire Burning In Austin!!

I just returned from Level 2 Teacher Training: The Sannyasin’s Journey with Baron Baptiste in Austin, TX. I can’t even begin to describe the many insights and breakthroughs I experienced there, so will sum it up with two words:  WOW and FUN!!

Level 2 Yogis & Baron Baptiste in full expression!

Level 2 was about exploring who I am being in my communities and who I am for others. Through inquiry, acceptance, and the support of the amazing Baptiste community, I was able to see my blind spots (beliefs or habits I have that disempower me and others).

I realize where in my life I am not being fully present with others, and how often it occurs. I notice times in my conversations when my head is filled with judgment, anticipation, or clouded by my previous experiences, instead of just being with who is speaking with me. I recognize when I give one person my full attention but disregard others.

Perhaps one of the most important blind spots I uncovered is that I was a hider. Way back in grade school my classmates made fun of me for being the teacher’s pet so I stopped raising my hand in class, even though I knew the answer or had something important to say. This hiding continued through my life as I kept covering up things I did not think people would like about me, and started responding to challenging situations with an ongoing mantra that “it doesn’t matter.” I believed that someone else would ask the question or stand up for someone and what is right. I did not want to ruffle any feathers.

I now understand how disempowering being a hider is to my communities and myself. When I fully express myself – whether that is giving honest feedback, making a difficult request, or singing my heart out in savasana – our community becomes stronger, connected, filled with vitality, and moves on to bigger and better things. Life also is so much more FUN in full authentic self-expression!!

I got a glimpse of what my life would be like if I held on to the same disempowering patterns that I uncovered at Level 2. I would be OK, but who wants to live an OK life? Not me, and I’m sure not you! Through my Level 2 participants I learned what greatness looks like, and that we all have it! A GREAT life is available for me if I choose to be seen, get real, and connect with others.

Right now I am present to the experience of vitality, possibility, contagious power and enthusiasm, and most importantly:  connection. I could not have found these things within myself if not for the full support and presence of my fellow Level 2 participants, Baron, and the Baptiste staff. I am so excited to keep sharing this bright fire we started in Austin with all of you and the rest of the world!

Tips for Dealing with Resistant And Less-Than-Eager Students

As my teaching career and interest in serving others through yoga has progressed, I've found myself teaching a different group of students. These teaching situations are unlike those at the yoga studios, clubs, and resorts I teach at where my students are eager and excited to be in class.

I've taught adults with drug and alcohol addiction where yoga is a part of the recovery program. I've taught 12 - 16 year old girls in a delinquency prevention program. I've taught football players preparing for the NFL draft. I've taught my husband - who I must admit has been dragged to class by me a couple times! Within these classes I am often met with resistance from the students: they don't want to be there, they think yoga is silly, they won't stop talking to their neighbor or show respect for me and the other students. They scowl at me and come out of the pose after trying it for one breath... It can be very frustrating to me and disruptive to the students who DO want to be there.

So how does a teacher deal? How can a teacher help each and every student find the benefits of yoga and embrace their practice. Here are a few tips that have helped me:

1. Don't take it personally. If a student is not into the practice, it does not mean you are a bad teacher. Stay out of your head and continue to teach with confidence. You don't need to get the person to like you. Instead, show a little tough love, which leads into my next tip...

2. Hold each student accountable. When you say "bend your front knee deeper" in Warrior II and the student doesn't budge, make eye contact, gesture or demonstrate the knee bend, and don't move your eye contact away from the student until he responds. If the eye contact doesn't work, walk right over to the student and guide his knee into place.

3. Speak to what is coming up. If students aren't taking the class seriously and are joking around, speak to the seriousness of taking care of their body. Speak to the choice that they made to be here. Yes, maybe Coach sent you, you signed up for this recovery program but did not know it included yoga, or even your wife dragged you here. But in all truth, you made the choice to be a part of the team, a part of the program, or to give in to your wife. So now you can embrace your choice, move forward, and be open to the possibilities your practice (the decision you made) can offer you. Or you can choose to fight it the whole way through, and never get this hour of your life back. Bring them into a Warrior II hold or Half Pigeon and speak to letting go of resistance and what is then possible in the pose - as well as in your life - once you experience that letting go.

4. Set ground rules or guidelines. If I am working with a new group, especially one that has never done yoga, I find it helps to set some ground rules at the very beginning, that should be reviewed each class. Just like kids need structure in the classroom, new yoga students need structure for their class. Here are the ground rules I often use:
   1) Everyone practices. Even if you have an injury, are tired, can't do tree pose - whatever the excuse might be - I ask all my students to practice. Yoga is accessible to anyone, and I will gladly offer modifications for injuries and circumstances. I explain that they don't need to make it "perfect" or get a pose "right." I just ask that they try. Often they will be surprised what they can do once they let their excuses be gone.
   2) Respect - for the teacher and for their fellow students. That means do not have side conversations. You can laugh, sigh, grunt, but do not be disruptive to your fellow students who are trying to enjoy themselves and get the most from their yoga experience. Respect me as a teacher by giving me your attention and following my ground rules/guidelines.
 
5. Connect - through your heart and your touch. Physical assists can start to break down the barrier between student and teacher. If your intention while assisting is to support and help, a student will feel that when you touch them. Don't go overboard or get creepy, but don't be afraid to get in their and help the student connect to her asana and her body. Also create a heart connection. Allow your students to see you for who you really are. Drop the yoga teacher script and be real. They will appreciate that and want to give you more of a real effort from themselves.

6. Keep it light. Yoga can be fun - even when working through tough poses and serious issues (like resistance). You need to step in with tough love at times, but balance that with a light-heartedness and playful approach. Remember to smile.... BIG!

I find that students with resistance start to warm to yoga the more they practice it. It's like during each session a layer is peeled away. Stay committed to your intention and you will make a difference in all your students' lives.

Gratitude, Space, And Following My Heart

One thing yoga has taught me is gratitude. When I am in a state of gratitude, I notice more magic and joy appearing in my life. Whether it's the sunshine on my face, the peaceful view from my backyard, or the look of love I get from my dog, I can't help but be thankful for these small miracles that are part of my everyday life.

Today, I am feeling overwhelmed in gratitude for where my life has brought me. What a different place I am in now than I was over a year ago. A year ago at this time I was starting the dreaded countdown to the end of the weekend in anticipation of Monday morning. I knee what my heart was calling me to do, but wasn't yet ready to dive fully in. Back then I felt like I was in the wrong place; but really, I was right where I was supposed to be, following all the steps that were already being planned for me leading me to where I am right now.

With so much gratitude for where I am right now, I look back - also with gratitude - to where I have been. I realize that each part of my path was special. Each part taught me something different. And each part lead me to right here. The key, I think, was being present enough in my life - and inside myself - to listen to the wisdom within me, to follow my heart. I have found that the more I follow my heart, the more loudly my heart speaks to me. I don't have anxiety anymore over decisions I have to make. If I am not sure in which direction to move forward, I give the question some space (meaning I let it go and stop fretting, analyzing, and thinking about it), make sure I hit my meditation cushion morning and night, and allow the answer to come to me. It always does, and I can feel in my body that I am making the right decision, following the right path. It really is as simple as that.

Back To Business

Why hellooooo blog! I have missed you. Life has kept me busy over the past two months as I have been wrapping up a freelance project for the previous industry I worked in, conference production. I committed to the project back in August thinking it would be a good way to ease into my full time yoga and writing career. And it was, but I am glad that it's almost compete. "Where your focus goes, energy flows," says Baron Baptiste. And I am ready for my energy to flow - even more! - into my yoga teaching and writing.

That is actually a huge lesson I have learned this fall. What you intend for yourself, you create. What you can envision in your mind is possible in your life. Where you focus your thoughts, energy, and time, you get results. That could be a job, relationship, yoga pose (hello first time crows or headstand!), anything - even negative things like bad habits or anxious thoughts. Yoga shows me more and more that the life I am living is a gift. Each breath I breathe is a gift. Each day I get to wake up, is a true miracle! So why should I spend my gift of life doing things that drag me down, deplete my energy, and don't serve the world? I believe when you find your passion, you have to follow it. I am so glad I found the courage to do so.

Every day when I wake up I thank God for my life. For the fact that I get to spend my day doing what I love and getting paid for it. That I live in a beautiful city with lots of sunshine and sunsets that can bring tears of joy to my eyes. That everything works itself out. Yes, faith is a true blessing if you can let go and trust that you are being taken care of by the universe. I know life will not always be pumpkin pie (yum!) but what an amazing ride this is. Hop on and ENJOY!!!!

Simplicity, Eliminate Clutter, Be Real To Find Your Style

Writing is very yogic. I am reading William Zinsser's "On Writing Well" (that I'm pretty sure I read in college but want a refresher), and many of his principals of writing are similar to principals of teaching yoga.

One of Zinsser's first principals is simplicity. He says that writers need to be clearheaded and say what they want to say the simplest way. As a yoga teacher, I need to be clearheaded when I teach class. In fact, one of the most important parts of teaching yoga for me is taking a few moments before class starts to get grounded or present, so I can teach class from a clear space. To be simple in writing and in teaching yoga, we need to be clear about what our objective is. If the reader or student is confused and finds it hard to follow the writing or class, they often won't come back for more.

Another key principal Zinsser discusses is eliminating clutter from writing, which ties into simplicity. Do we really need to say, "a personal friend"? Can't we just say "a friend"? I also love his example that we don't need to say, "At the present time we are experiencing precipitation." We can simply say, "It is raining." If I give my students every single alignment cue for a pose, will they get the pose any better? They are probably more likely to tune me out completely. Where can I eliminate unnecessary words to allow students to have space for their practice and presence, instead of my voice constantly in their head? If I have a class of experienced yogis, instead of saying, "step your right foot forward into warrier one pose," can't I just say, "right foot, warrier one"?

Zinsser goes on to talk about style. Many writers are afraid that once they simplify what they are saying and eliminate clutter, it results in no unique writing style. But Zinsser argues differently. He says this is real and raw, and that is the kind of writer readers want to keep reading. I am constantly working on be "real" in my classes. You'd think being real shouldn't be so hard, but throughout life, humans are told how to behave, what to say, what others think. How often are we really "real" instead of acting how we think others want us to act?

I love these three ideas for both writing and teaching yoga: simplicity, eliminate clutter, be real to find your style. In fact, they are great principals for living your life!